A Frightful Fantasy
by Kefka's Eden
Summary: A Final Fantasy 6/Scream Trilogy spoof, you've never read anything like it, trust me!


A Frightful Fantasy  
Chapter 1 of 3  
Terra walled along the scenic path up to Kefka's house, she was sure sick of being in all of these ridiculous fanfics that have her doing moronic things she would never do in "real" life. This one had her playing the role of a nice goody goody teenager while still having the main characteristics of the "real" Terra. Finally she neared the house, the dampness of the cold night ate away at her neck, she looked up and was greeted with a large mansion-like house. From her position outside the front door she could hear the music blasting and people laughing hysterically. "Kefka's Eden!" she cried hoping to get attention of the fanfic writer, "Eden! Where are you?" A voice boomed from the sky, "What do you want now? Be happy I'm even doing an FF6 fanfic, I'm not sure if you noticed but mostly everyone else is doing FF7 right now." Terra shivered at the thought of not being in any fics but she wasn't sure if not being in one at all was better than being in one as bad as this, "If I'm a good girl in this story why am I going to this party on a school night?"  
  
KE thought this over, "Shut up! I'm the writer and you'll do whatever I tell you to do! Understand?" As Terra was going to speak up KE typed on his own keyboard that she wouldn't and instead walked into the hose, and in turn she did. Inside was a small room with a glorious disco ball illuminating from high above. A huge DJ booth was set up but as Terra neared it the terrible music that was being played grated her ears. She looked over the table and saw Kefka jamming away with some terrible sounding dancing mad techno remix. "Kefka, you sound like crap you know that?" she asked. "Yeah I know! I'm some kind of wannabe in this story, who is writing this crap?" KE typed a bit more taking control over Kefka, "I bet a really good author, one of the best of our time, the spokesperson of our generation is writing this, that's who!" he exclaimed happily.  
  
Terra looked around and was not greeted by too many happy faces. First she saw Edgar who looked to be playing the role of the bad boy as he sat in a corner sipping away at a wine cooler in a box. Then she saw two loners playing Chocobo Racing on Playstation by themselves, it was Gogo and Umaro. Terra sat down by herself on a small recliner, "Is this story going anywhere KE?" she asked. "The voice boomed again, "Just wait for the other guests to arrive." Suddenly the door popped open and two figures walked through the door. One had a football jersey on and was quite muscular, the other had a cheerleading outfit on and was defying the laws of gravity with her busty-ness, "Locke and Celes! At last some…… normal people!" Terra cried. "Ewwwwwww! We don't talk to nerdy goody two shoes right Hun? Celes asked in a high pitched girly voice. "Right babe, oh wine coolers come on let's move babe!" Terra became more depressed as she looked around the room as KE totally made a mockery of their once respectable characters.  
  
Then another man ran through the door with a keg on his back, "WooHoo! Party!!!! Time to liven this baby up!" he shouted! Terra sunk her head into her hands as she tried to drown out the ramblings of Gau. He ran around squirting everyone with the beer and acting all out ignorant. Finally the last man came through the doors. This one wore suspenders and thick thick glasses over his highly worn pants, "Hi guys, I finally made it." Terra bust out laughing, "Poor poor Cyan, I guess I didn't get the worst role," She thought. Locke stood up, "Who invited this nerd?!" he asked as if he had been offended. Kefka stood up from behind his booth, "I did, well actually that idiot KE made me!" KE took control of Locke and threw a beer can directly at Kefka which sent him into a wall. They sat there for a few minutes drinking wine coolers and cheap beer while Terra sat alone and Gogo and Umaro played more video games. It seems that this plotline was going nowhere, after a few minutes Terra finally stood up, "KE! What is the point of this!? This is like FF6's Dawson's Creek or something, make something happen!" Kefka had finally woken up, "Yeah! Look at all the great characters you have, a nerd, a good girl, bad boy, cheerleader blonde, jock, loners, and a wild man, what else do you need?" KE boomed again, "Hmm, you just mentioned all of the standard characters for a…" he trailed off.   
  
Suddenly the lights went out. Celes began laughing as another voice boomed, but this one was inside the room, "Vanish!" The room was lit for a second as the spell hit someone in the room. Kefka screamed, "What are you doing KE!? Why did someone just cast Vanish one me?" The voice boomed again, "Doom!" Kefka ran around the dark room, "NOOOOOOO! NOT THE VANISH DOOM COMBO!" And suddenly his voice was drowned out and the lights came on, in the middle of the room a black smoking stain was all that was left of Kefka. Celes stood up, "Tee hee, where did he go?" Terra made a remark about Celes under her breath. Edgar stood up from his place in the corner, "Well you realize that we're the stereotypes for a horror movie right?" Terra laughed, "KE, what kind of fanfic involves the cast of ff6 in a horror story!?" The voice boomed, "This fanfic does Terra. Now shut up and do what I say! Listen the killer is among you, better find them before they find you." Locke, who thought he was most qualified to lead the group stood up, "Obviously there is only one thing to do, we have to try and escape the woods surrounding this house and get back to civilization. So let's split up and go through the forest." Terra was dumbfounded, "Why on Earth would we do that?!" Locke laughed at her, "Duh Terra, it's a horror story. Anyone who goes into the woods always make it out alive. Ok I will go with Celes, Gogo go with Umaro, Gau and Cyan are good, and Edgar will go with Terra."   
Celes stood up, "Hey there's a cabin in the middle of the forest that has a phone and a nice fire." "How do you know about that?" Asked Edgar. Immediately Locke and Celes blushed, "Um, well you see, come on let's leave her now before the killer gets us," suggested Locke covering up his dirty act with Celes. They all walked out of the mansion and split up into there pre assigned groups. As terra walked along she was positive this was the absolute worst ff6 fanfic ever, up in the sky at his keyboard KE agreed.   
  
  
Chapter 2 of 3  
  
Locke and Celes, hand in hand, walked casually into the woods. They strolled along more like they were in some romantic fic than a horror story that had some killer after them, but Locke knew for a fact that Celes wasn't the killer and vice versa. "Honey, all this walking is boring! I want to do something," she paused, "FUN." Locke continued walking with her looked puzzled, "What do you wan to play football or something? I don't even have my equipment babe, and you aren't exactly big enough to be a linebacker or anything." Celes sighed, sure she was also a stupid air head but she wasn't this brain dead. She sat down and rubbed a stump next to her motioning for Locke to come. He sat down next to her, "Oh I see now babe, you want some more wine coolers right? Hold on I'll be right back." He got up and ran in the opposite direction back towards the mansion, Celes sighed again. She sat there alone wet and cold, and this story was getting boring, "Kefka's Eden!" The loud voice echoed from the sky, "What now Celes?!" "Make this story more interesting, I'm bored!" Back at his computer screen KE laughed, "All right Celes, just you wait dear."   
  
Celes smiled having accomplishing her goal. Out far in the distant woods she heard Locke calling, "Babe I got the wine coolers! Hold.. hey what are you doing here!?" Another voice emerged from the woods, "Fire 3!" screamed the voice. Locke in turn yelped out in pain as he fell to the woody floor, burnt badly. Celes stood up, she could here the killer running towards her direction… KE thought to himself, "Every good horror story needs a dumb blonde running away from a killer in the woods," and in turn Celes turned to run deeper in the already thick surrounding woods. She ran faster and faster, her heart beat matching her speed, even surpassing it. But no matter how fast she ran the booming sounds of the killer's feet hitting the ground behind her. KE thought to himself again, "Obviously, she needs to trip over a branch." And in turn she did. Celes cowered in fear but managed to look up at her stalker before her death, "O don't wanna die!!!!!!!!!!" she cried. But the killer had no answer, only the summoning of Ice 3.  
  
Terra and Edgar at the same time as Celes' death were also walking through the woods searching for the cabin. Edgar kept edging closer to a resistant Terra, "What exactly do you think you're doing Edgar?" she asked offended. "Well you see this is a horror story, and in these stories the good girl and bad boy always survive and hook up. So that means we practically have to hook up." Terra scoffed at his reasoning, "This is ridiculous! We are acting nothing at all like our real characters, KE has completely butchered this story, I hope no one ever reads this." They continued on through the woods, "I wonder why after Anthology was released there aren't more FF6 stories?" wondered Edgar. KE's voice appeared again, "It was the terrible loading between screens, it was awful. Maybe if you had all tried a little harder." As they searched Terra felt a drastic decline in temperature. She shivered, "What's happening?" Edgar gave her his jacket, "Look, over there!" They rushed to a large block of ice in the middle of the forest. Terra wiped the ice clean of debris to reveal, Celes! "Yes! The killer finally got that little cheerleader bimbo!" shouted an overjoyed Terra. KE's voice appeared again, "You're supposed to be shocked and disgusted Terra! Not happy." She stuck her tongue out to the sky. Edgar looked at the frozen bimbo, "If the killer got Celes they probably got Locke too, he's even stupider than her." Terra shrugged, "Oh well nothing we could do, come on let's keep moving."  
  
Meanwhile another determined squad of travelers continued through the forest, Gau and Cyan, who were right in the middle of a heated argument, "No, no, no Gau, The Star Ship Enterprise only had two hyper drive engines not three!" Gau was getting quite upset, "Listen you little geek, I really don't care! All I want to do is find the friggin cabin so I can get back to killing my brain cells with beer ok!?" Cyan was offended, and wiped off his thick glasses, "I was just trying to make conversation Gau." They walked on in silence until they came to a high cliff, "I don't remember passing a cliff on the way up to the mansion, do you Cyan?" He looked around, "Nope. But did you know on average that 82.9% of cliffs are located in residential areas, and they're formed by man!" Gau dropped his head into his hands, "Why have you done this to Cyan KE?" KE was getting bored with this fic and didn't answer as he was busy throwing rocks at a wall. Gau looked over to Cyan, "Why are you so nerdy?" Cyan smiled, "Ha ha Gau! You know very well nerdy is an adverb and Cyan is a noun and an adverb can't modify a noun! You're so silly." Gau's eye twitched, this story wasn't even funny anymore! He turned to Cyan and jabbed his right off the cliff. The loud thud his body made as it hit the ground satisfied Gau's rage. "Why did you do that, you're not the killer Gau?" asked KE. Gau looked up to the sky and flipped him off.  
  
The last group was Gogo and Umaro. What a great team they were, a neuter "thing" covered and robes and a mute yeti. They had circled the mansion numerous times not quite sure of how to get to the cabin. "Umaro, want to go to the arcade after this?" "Ugh, rahhhhhh." "Ok great! Then let's head over to the mall, I need to pre order Chrono Cross." "Glhhhh. Gruggggg." Gogo laughed, "Good one Umaro, come on we need to find the cabin soon." They walked along quietly until a smoke bomb filled the area, "What the Hell?!" yelled Gogo. "Shut up you little insignificant fool! I am the killer and you will be my next," he savored the words, "VICTIM." Gogo yelped, "Umaro, HELP!" "UGHHHHHHH!" he replied. The killer laughed, "He won't find you in this smoke Gogo, and I've decided to spare him for now. Ultima!" The spell enveloped Gogo leaving the man/woman half dead on the dirt. He screamed out in pain. From above KE sighed, "He can't even kill people right," he sent a spear flying from above to meet the groaning Gogo.  
  
Umaro now struck with fear ran as fast as he could into the deep forest, finally finding the cabin, inside was Terra and Edgar building a fire. "UGHHHHHHHH!" Edgar looked up, "Umaro, what's the matter?!" "Gogo, grrrrrrrruuuuuurrrrrrrrr!" Before Terra could say something sarcastic again Gau busted in. KE looked on from above, finally he could use a plot twist as he had all the survivors in one place, but of course he had to leave the readers wondering who the killer is so he decides to end the chapter.  
  
A Frightful Fantasy   
Chapter 3 of 3  
Gau huffed and puffed as Terra and Edgar ran over to him, "Gau, are you all right?!" asked a truly concerned Terra. He looked into their eyes, "Yeah, I've just been running for awhile because KE is mad at me I think." Edgar laughed, "Why's that?" "Well, you see, I kind of flipped him off." Edgar laughed again, "Ok why did you flip the writer who's making this story and could take control of us at anytime?" Gau got up and went to a corner, "He kept making Cyan nerdier and nerdier, so I threw him off a cliff." Terra's mouth practically fell to the floor, "WHAT!" They walked closer to Gau quite upset, "Well I was drunk and it seemed like the thing to do." Edgar shook his head in disgust, "Well I guess we finally found our killer huh Terra?" She nodded in agreement. "Wait! That's not true! Only Cyan, I didn't kill Kefka!" Obviously there was no reason to believe him as there were only four survivors left, "What about Celes, Locke, and possibly Gogo? You murder them too?" Gau looked shocked, "No! Just Cyan." Kefka's Eden decided to take part in the story again, "So you all believe Gau is the killer right?"   
  
Suddenly the power went out just like when Kefka died at the mansion. Another voice different from KE boomed, "Ramuh!" A man appeared in the middle of the room and promptly electrified Gau to a crisp. The summon disappeared leaving Terra, Edgar….and Umaro! Edgar ran over to him, "Umaro, was it you all along?" Umaro laughed a hideous laugh, "Yep the whole time it was me! It is time for my revenge!" Terra laughed at the yeti, "You know KE, Umaro's a mute." KE typed away at his keyboard angry at the little stuck up… Her mouth disappeared leaving only skin between her nose and chin. "UGHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she yelled. Umaro continued talking, "Everyone had a better role than me in ff6! Everyone! You didn't even have to see me in order to finish. And then if you did get me I never talked or even used magic! I was useless. And look around, it's sad enough there's never any fics about ff6 anymore but has there veer been one about good old Umaro!? No but we get a hundred ridiculous fan boy representations of Celes' and Locke's wedding. Well pay back's a bitch huh! KE felt my pain and gave me magic and the ability to speak! So there!" KE laughed at the thought of Umaro thinking this fic was centered around him, what a moron. Umaro edged closer to them just as Terra's mouth reappeared, "Why don't we just fight back? We know magic too." Edgar laughed at her pathetic idea, "Terra, that's wayyyyyyyy to easy an ending, don't you want it to be dramatic?" Umaro was practically on top of them, "Not really, I'd like to be alive at the end though." Edgar considered it, "Good point, Slow2!" The giant oaf was reduced to moving at just inches at a time. Edgar jumped out a window and pulled Terra with her, "Why didn't you just use the door? That hurt!" Edgar too was getting sick of her constant whining.  
  
They ran through the woods as fast as they can hoping to find the exit, but Umaro was now gaining on them as the spell had worn off. KE was once again getting bored and decided to give Edgar and Terra a little convenient help. As they ran through Edgar stopped in front of a utility shed, "Terra, hold him off if he comes. I have an idea." He bust inside as Terra looked down the path timidly. In a few short moments Edgar bust out with a Jason mask on his face and a massive chainsaw, "Remember when we found this in Zozo? Good times eh Terra?" Terra sighed, "Shut up you idiot! Here he comes!" Edgar swung his chainsaw wildly at him but Umaro simply grabbed the edge of the saw and twisted it in half. Edgar turned back to Terra, "Ok didn't work." Just as Umaro was about to bite down on Edgar's head Terra casted Ice to Umaro's fete trapping him there. They started running again but knew that Umaro's imprisonment wouldn't last long as the Sun was now just coming up.  
  
After what seemed like hours they arrived at a lake where Edgar flopped to the ground, "Jeez we might as well let him kill us, it's probably better than being in this idiotic garbage story. KE took control of his character once again. Edgar stood up and stared at Terra's reflection in the lake, "What are you looking at?" He smirked, "A reflection, that's it. I know how to beat Umaro dramatically!" He pulled his backpack off from his back and threw it to the ground. He rapidly looked through it until he pulled out two red rings, as terra realized what they were she gasped, "Reflection Rings." They both put one and waited for the best to come before them slobbering at the thought that their deaths were at hand. "It's over you two. There's no escape this time, FLARE!" Two raging blasts of fire came flying towards them, but just before impact hit the green protective layer created by the rings and went flying back at Umaro. He instantly caught on fire and was catapulted high into the sky and slammed into the lake with a splash.  
  
Terra and Edgar collapsed to the ground in exhaustion, finally it was all over, they had beaten Umaro. But KE had one last trick for them, as they watched the Sun rise over the lake a charred white hand reached out and fell back in quickly. Terra sighed again, "This is the absolute worst story I've ever been in." Edgar nodded in agreement and together they left the forest once and for all.   
  



End file.
